A few days after an ordinary Valentine’s Day, Cindy Beall’s life changed forever. She listened with disbelief to her husband, Chris, a respected pastor, confess to pornography addiction, numerous affairs, and the startling news that a woman was pregnant with his child. With raw honesty and intimate knowledge of pain and of God’s power to resurrect something new out of the debris of betrayal, Cindy reveals how to: seek guidance, counseling, and prayer support when deceptions surface help the family heal from the grief and humiliation rebuild trust after porn, sex, and other addictions undermine a relationship protect a marriage from lies and unfaithfulness rely on God to pursue forgiveness and move forward in new promises Cindy’s compassion, grasp of God’s Word, and the Bealls’ remarkable story will help wives and husbands trust God with their broken hearts and follow His leading, hope, and redemption. Foreword by Craig Groeschel, bestselling author and senior pastor of LifeChurch.tv.
Betrayal has many faces, including anger, abuse, deceit, and infidelity. These feel like betrayal because they violate the implicit promise of emotional bonds, that your loved one will care about your wellbeing and never intentionally hurt you. If you've recently left a relationship where you felt betrayed by your partner—or if you want to repair one—it can seem impossible to view the world without the shadow of past betrayal hovering over you. As a result, you may struggle to create meaning in your life, find the strength to forgive, or build new, loving relationships. InLiving and Loving after Betrayal, therapist and relationship expert Steven Stosny offers effective tools for healing, based on his highly successful CompassionPower program. He founded the CompassionPower agency on the belief that we are more powerful when compassionate than when angry or aggressive, and that true strength comes from relating compassionately to others and remaining true to your deeper values. In this book, you’ll learn practical strategies for overcoming betrayal-induced trauma and the chronic resentment and depression that result, using this innovative compassion-empowerment approach. Most books on betrayal only focus on the obvious issues, such as infidelity, abuse, or sex addiction. This book explores the effects of those kinds of betrayal, as well as less-talked-about types, such as emotional manipulation, dishonesty, deceit, and financial cheating. In addition, the book helps you regain a sense of trust in others so that you can eventually find another compassionate person to share your life with or, if you choose, to rebuild a relationship with your reformed betrayer. Recovering from the betrayal of partner isn’t easy, but Living and Loving after Betrayaloffers potent ways to heal, grow, and love again.
One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
Typically, men are good at creating rifts in relationships but terrible at mending them, especially after they've repeatedly betrayed their partner through sexual infidelity. For the most part, cheating men are both intimacy-challenged and empathy-challenged, and, as such, they lack the skills needed to overcome the damage wrought by their infidelity. Robert Weiss has spent over twenty years in the treatment of sex and intimacy issues, helping both cheating men and their betrayed spouses. In Out of the Doghouse he shares his expertise, illuminating the ways in which men can move beyond their usual feeble efforts to smooth things over. Sure, saying "I'm sorry" and trying to "buy forgiveness" with flowers and jewelry may temporarily calm the stormy seas, but these actions do nothing to re-establish trust, which is what a distraught woman needs if she hopes to feel better about her relationship over the long-term. The simple truth is men and women are very different when it comes to relationships. While men are able to compartmentalize things like sexual infidelity, women typically view cheating as an affront to their entire relationship. They think: "If he is lying to me about sex, he's probably lying to me about everything." For betrayed women, trust just flat-out disintegrates. And without proper guidance, men have little hope of restoring it. Weiss provides exactly the needed guidance in Out of the Doghouse, helping men move past the usual roadblocks in ways that will not only save a damaged relationship, but make it better than ever.
Most relationship problems are essentially trust issues, explains psychotherapist David Richo. Whether it’s fear of commitment, insecurity, jealousy, or a tendency to be controlling, the real obstacle is a fundamental lack of trust—both in ourselves and in our partner. Daring to Trust offers key insights and practical exercises for exploring and addressing our trust issues in relationships. Topics include: • How we learn early in life to trust others (or not to trust them) • Why we fear trusting • Developing greater trust in ourselves as the basis for trusting others • How to know if someone is trustworthy • Naïve trust vs. healthy, adult trust • What to do when trust is broken Ultimately, Richo explains, we must develop trust in four directions: toward ourselves, toward others, toward life as it is, and toward a higher power or spiritual path. These four types of trust are not only the basis of healthy relationships, they are also the foundation of emotional well-being and freedom from fear.
An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.
The best-selling author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work lends scientific insights into how to build and maintain trust in committed relationships, sharing a formula for calculating a couple's loyalty level that takes into account a relationship's likely future and vulnerability to infidelity.
Is my relationship worth saving? Will the trust ever come back? How can things be good between us again? Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged. In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.
Statistics show that one in every four marriages is impacted by infidelity. So the odds are pretty good that you or someone you know has experienced the searing pain of marital infidelity. But adultery is not an automatic death sentence for your marriage. You can trust again. You can restore intimacy. You can have a relationship that you will both cherish for a lifetime. Ten years ago, Gary and Mona Shriver experienced the devastation caused by adultery, and in the course of trying to save themselves, they wrote this book. Raw, transparently honest, the Shrivers’ story alone is an inspiration, offering hope and practical strategies for healing. Now this updated and revised edition adds other real-life stories of betrayal and forgiveness, and new information defining adultery, including the destruction of emotional affairs. Some doubt if a marriage can truly heal after the ravages of infidelity. Unfaithful proves you can. It’s not easy . . . but it can be done. Is it worth it? Yes. And you hold the first step—and hope—in your hand.
The infidelities of a romantic partner, the harsh words of a parent, the failings of an aging body, the devastation of a lost job, the bigotry and prejudices of society-all of these experiences are betrayals that encourage negative feelings of separation, alienation, and emotional distance. BETRAYAL, TRUST, AND FORGIVENESS is a thoughtful guide to resolving these conflicts and overcoming feelings of disappointment and injury. Licensed counselor and author Dr. Beth Hedva combines spirituality and contemporary psychology to help individuals discover new techniques for dealing with changes in their personal and professional lives. Blending ancient wisdom, stories, and myths with modern practices, this insightful book teaches you to exchange your feelings of anger and hurt for the positive emotions of trust and contentment. Once you are free from painful patterns of betrayal, you can strengthen your sense of purpose and live out the promise of your dreams.‚Ģ Provides readers with concrete exercises and successful tools proven to effect positive change.‚Ģ Includes helpful tips for group facilitators and trainers.
For the 70 percent of couples who have been affected by extramarital affairs, this is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship –– written by a nationally known therapist considered an expert on infidelity. When I was 15, I was raped. That was nothing compared to your affair. The rapist was a stranger; you, I thought, were my best friend. There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self–respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow. After the Affair is the first book to help readers survive this crisis. Written by a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for 22 years, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: Normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership.
If your parents divorced when you were young, you were probably affected by the breakdown fo their marriage. Divided loyalties, secrets kept from the other parent, one life lived in two separate houses—these may have been par for the course. With this guide, you will learn that the effects of the divorce are not permanently harmful. Find out how to forgive your parents, discover new ways to enrich your own relationships and learn that there are alternative realities available. Divorce experts and psychologists Jeffrey Zimmerman, Ph.D., and Elizabeth S. Thayer Ph.D., show you how to recognize how your parents’ divorce influenced your life, resulting in disruptions such as relationship failures due to financial reasons, difficulties with commitment, and repeated situations that “just don’t seem to work out.” They provide techniques to help you understand and overcome these and other issues common to adult children of divorced parents. Zimmerman and Thayer focus on helping you learn how to build self-esteem, become resilient, establish healthy boundaries, communicate clearly, open up to trust, show love, believe in commitment and deal with vulnerable feelings.
Dove Award-winning artist Clay Crosse and his wife, Renee, share their personal story of his struggle with pornography and how they rebuilt their marriage.
Is having 'somebody to love' the most important thing in your life? Do you constantly believe in Mr Right, and that being with him would guarantee you would no longer feel depressed or lonely? Are you bored with 'nice guys' who are open, honest and dependable? If being in love means being in pain, this book was written for you. Leading relationship and marriage therapist Robin Norwood describes loving too much as a pattern of thoughts and behaviour, which certain women develop as a response to problems from childhood. Many women find themselves repeatedly drawn into unhappy and destructive relationships with men. They then struggle to make these doomed relationships work. This bestselling relationship self-help book investigates and reveals how powerfully addictive these unhealthy relationships are - but also gives a very specific programme for recovery from the disease of loving too much, a problem that plagues women everywhere.